When the Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda Starts Creeping In…

Finding a hidden secret….

Knowing it’s not right…

Wondering what to do next…

Finding a secret you never wanted to discover… that moment knocks the breath right out of you.

There are secrets being exposed every day, yet when we find one in our family we are frozen in time.

Should I have noticed it earlier?

Could I have stopped it?

Would it have happened if I….

Being in a situation that has no immediate answers is heartbreaking because we don’t know what to say or do. Typically, our brain runs through the past as if we were quickly flipping in a book to find the exact location of the clincher in the story. It’s like time suddenly slows to a crawl, and we start turning the pages one-by-one and self-doubt and self-interrogation begins.

We stopped the page at this event. Recalling things, we should have said that may have changed the situation.

More turning of pages, we stop in our tracks…. this could have been it. The self-examination starts…could we have intervened with one small switch of a sentence?

The scanning of where the problem lies is not being found as we thumb through more pages, more memories with events embedded in our minds. Would the outcome be different if we had not done this or had done that?

The shoulda, coulda, woulda must STOP! Regret, shame, and humiliation will soon be on the coat tails of this cliché if we don’t stop questioning ourselves. Because shame isn’t from God, and it has no authority. And, if we don’t stop it, we will be tripping and falling on the face with shame. Once shame pokes its ugly head into our mind, we will have a boat loaded with many terrible feelings that can overcome us.

Keep reading, the good news is coming!

If you’ve been in this situation you know. You could finish writing this article.

This is the turning point for us, women of faith, that God can redeem ANY situation!

You may be saying, “Yeah but, you don’t know.”, “You’re not in my shoes.”, “It’s different for you.”

I will respond with, “I don’t know the exact details, but I’ve been in some dark situations.”, “We all walk in different details, yet we can relate.”, “We are all the same in God’s eyes.”

Steps to Stop Shame from Entering Your Situation

Here’s where we turn the corner—these steps will help you rise up instead of spiral down.

1. Encourage yourself – Yep! If you don’t, who will? Self-talk and encouragement are a MUST if you are to survive. Say this over yourself for one week and let me know if it changes your self-perception.
   • I am Who God Says I am: If you want to learn more, check out my video course – Who Am I?
     • Blessed
     • Loved
     • Healed
     • Chosen
     • Forgiven
     • Redeemed
     • Free
     • Renewed

2. Pray about everything – It says it right in the Bible, plus it says two other important actions – don’t worry and thank God. Read it for yourself….
   • Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT
3. Talk to a trusted friend – We need to verbalize what is going on in our thoughts otherwise it is a place the enemy will try to trap us with silence.
   • This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. John 15:12 NLT
   •  In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Philippians 2:5 NLT

You may be in the place where you need a friend.

You may be in the place where you can be a friend.

Let’s be the women God needs us to be, ones who can walk alongside other women to listen, love, and encourage no matter what situation is happening in our lives. Don’t fight spiritual battles alone—God designed us to be connected.

Action Step – If God has reminded you of a woman who needs to be encourage, text or call her right now. If you are the woman that needs a friend to talk to text a simple, “I need you to pray for me.”

Be Blessed,

Sue L. Hamilton – Speaker | Teacher | Author

www.suelhamilton.com

Remember—God can redeem anything. Walk today with your head lifted.

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