Forgive or Not Forgive

That is often the question we wrestle with when forgiveness enters our thoughts - forgive or not?

There is no quick formula, on simple one, two, three solution that makes forgiveness instant and effortless. Forgiveness takes time. It takes intention. And most of all, it takes practice.

We might wish forgiveness worked like a fairy-tale moment, one wave of a wand and suddenly the pain disappears. But real forgiveness is rarely simple. It’s a process, especially when the hurt runs deep.

If you’ve struggled to forgive, you’re not alone. Forgiveness often requires us to forgive the same offense more than once, particularly when old wounds get stirred up.

Recently, I found myself face-to-face with someone I had a hard time forgiving. Almost instantly, my heart rate raced and my thoughts began to spin out-of-control. Old feelings of anger and resentment bubbled up and I felt pulled back into familiar patterns of justification and defense.

My mind wanted to prove I was right. I wanted to protect myself by thinking of retaliation. Yet, the person I have become knew better. These inward thoughts turned into physical reaction of tension, fist tightened, and brows furrowed. That was the moment I realized something had to stop. I didn’t want to live in anger or revenge. I wanted peace.

• Learning How to Forgive
  • Ask God for help.
  • Admit our resistance.
  • Return to His Word.
  • Ask we ask for God’s help again.

Forgiving can feel impossible. It’s not completed in one-time, it’s a continual surrender. Each time we bring our hurt to God our hearts soften a little more and His love outweighs our pain. God is the best teacher when it comes to forgiveness because He meets us where we are, no rushing or demanding. He reminds us how fully He forgives us. Psalm 103 is powerful reminder. In the footnotes of the Study Bible is a challenge, “When we forgive someone, we must treat them as though we have actually forgiven their sin. Otherwise, we have not truly forgiven them.”

God removes our sins completely, casting them as far as the east is to the west. He does not keep score.

• As we learn to forgive others, we are invited to reflect how God forgives.
  • Showing compassion and mercy.
  • Be slow to anger.
  • Choosing unfailing love.
  • Releasing accusation.
  • Refusing to stay angry.
  • Letting go of the desire to punish.

Forgiveness is not easy. It takes practice and willingness to want to change. But it will leave us toward freedom.

So here is a question to consider. How do you want to feel when forgiveness is needed, at peace or stuck in bitterness?

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